Crush... or crushed??

I wonder what is coming over me, I've never been like this before. Hm... I didn't see him all day today, so I am guessing that he is not in school. But then again, I was so high yesterday because I saw him four times (and had two lollipops XD), not to mention the fact that he was wearing my favorite tee!!! But then... today it felt as though something was missing, something wasn't right. Damn it, I don't like feeling this way, and damn me for feeling this way in the first place...


Time: 2220
Date: 27/07/2010

Hurting

Damn, I didn't know having a crush would hurt this much. But then again, if it was easy, it wouldn't be called a crush, would it? But this is the first time I felt so strongly. Crap, I really did make an effort to be friendly, smiling at him when we walk past each other. But today is the third (or fourth) time he ignored me when I smiled at him! Oh my gosh! I am used to being ignored, but why does it still hurt anyway? Haiz... thinking of giving up, but somehow, just somehow... the feelings are still there, still as strong. What in the world am I going to do with myself? At this rate, I think I'll get my first boyfriend only after I retire -.-


Time: 0000
Date: 22/07/2010

Plunging into...

God, what in the world was I thinking, admitting that I had a crush to my friends. Now I am actually going to have to do something about it!!! I would rather climb up in the air on a poundingship and take the chances of falling into shark infested waters. I think that is a lot safer. Why do I always end up fearing the outcome of things like these? Damn, if I could jump into South China Sea without a lifejacket on, I could do anything, or so I thought. Damn it, damn my big mouth, damn ME!!!!




Time: 2250
Date: 19/07/2010

Dating -.-

Hm, I am turning nineteen in about two weeks' time, yet up till now I have yet to go on a single date. What do I say, I am always the best friend, never the girlfriend. But somehow, I think that I should take my time. I mean come on, am I the only person who thinks that I am a little bit too young to start dating just anyone? Hm... I got freaked out about this matter at least four times already, and I am doing my best to remain out of sight from Banana. Haiz, I would prefer to think that he doesn't know I exist. It is so much easier for everyone. I am sure I can get over this crush over time, though I don't know just how long that is going to take because I think this is the first time I had such a strong crush on a guy. Crap, just going to have to distract myself enough to get over this, I know I can... or actually, I know I should... haiz...


Time: 0020
Date: 16/07/2010

Oh my god, I cannot believe I wasted my life, staying up all night to watch the World Cup finale. I mean come on, througout the whole match (lasted two freaking hours -.-) I think the only people who did not get the yellow card were the goalkeepers and referees. Damn, that was the only action throughout the whole match, until the 116th minute when Spain scored a goal. Throughout the remaining four minutes or so, they wasted even more time running around the field. Damn... two teams and not a single hot guy?! But that aside, I saw Banana two times today (usually three, but today my lessons were cut short when one of the lecturers went for MEL Camp) and he was wearing this damn nice tee! There was white print on it, and looks damn basic and simple, but it is the color of the tee that I so love! Oh my gosh, I wonder where he got his tees from, because the colors have a wide range! I've seen him in the basic white and black, this beautiful blue, red, yellow... yeah, I also seldom see guys wear yellow, hence I think he has good taste, hahaha. Thank god he is fair (but makes me think if he ever went sailing, since it is inevitable that you get dark after sailing for a while) and all colors look good on him. Hm, I think that is enough ranting for one night XD Ciao!

Time: 2315
Date: 112/07/2010

Crap, Banana is becoming a fixture in my mind. I talk about him, think about him, daydream about him... shit, becoming an obsession of mine!!! Haiz, must get over this crush before i end up getting my heart, spleen, liver, kidneys, small and large intestines, gall bladder, bladder and other internal organ broken... AND I HAVE A FEELING HE IS ALREADY ATTACHED!!! T.T

GG



Time: 0030
Date: 05/07/2010

Haiz, it has been quite a while since I last posted an entry, not that my life has been blogworthy of late. Not to mention the fact that I was too busy as well. Hm, I have officially decided to call MG Banana dude (because of the bright yellow tee he was wearing yesterday) and my sister christened him Banana Maersk. Now that I think about it, Banana Maersk does have a cute lil sound to it, so I guess it sticks. Saw him only once today and dashed into the toilet. Considering the fact that I actually made a fool of myself two times in front of him before, I am not taking the risk of seeing him again -.- Besides, I'd rather admire from afar, hahahahaha!! Anyway, that's all (pretty pathetic if you asked me) for now, so till next time, ciao!




Time: 1910
Date: 01/07/2010