Got Everything

I got everything I wanted, which is damn great, but the thing is, there is this guy in class who somehow reminds me of Banana, so I called him Mini Me. Mini Me is like a smaller, shorter version of Banana, with the wrong skin tone, etc. But somehow, just somehow, there is just something about him that reminds me very strongly of Banana, so much so that I have a little trouble talking to him normally. But then again, I did talk to him, not like I ignored the guy when he was talking to me, hahahaha. Well, it's been like, almost seven months now? It should be coming to an end soon right? So why is the feeling still as strong despite not seeing him for more than a month now? Damn it... this is getting way out of hand -.-



Time; 2100
Date: 28/09/2010

At last XD

Finally, for the first time in months, I feel light enough to actually smile genuinely. After everything that has happened, getting the company truly made everything alright once more, at least for now. Thank god, seriously, because without this, I have no idea what I was going to do, or how I am going to deal. Now I'll be too busy to focus on anything but the TNTA, so it is so much better. It gives me time, so that in the future when I look back at the issue, it won't throw me off my feet like it used to...


Thank god :)


Time: 0050
Date: 22/09/2010

Interview

I have an interview coming up, and I am as nervous as hell. I want the TNTA Program thngy so bad, it seems that it is all I can think about. But then again, if I don't think about that, I will think about things I don't want to think about. As it is, whenever I close my eyes, I see something I don't want to see... god knows how hard it is for me to go to sleep nowadays. Okay, for now I shall focus on the TNTA, it is all I have got for now (which is rather pathetic, actually).



Time: 0120
Date: 15/09/2010

Emptiness...

Despite the fact that today was pretty okay, could have been enjoyable in fact, but it feels rather empty for me. Even with the additional money which means I can now meet up with my friends without any worries, I still wonder why it feels different. It might be my last for a while as well... the emptiness somehow bothers me... -.-








Time: 2205
Date: 10/09/2010

Hari Raya...

To think that I have completely no mood for Hari Raya this year. My mind is completely taken up by him, as well as the TNTA Program. I really want in on that program, it is the only thing that is keeping me sane right now. I can't believe that even now, during this 'festive' season, I am still thinking about him, wondering what he is doing. Seriously, it used to take a lot more than just this to get me down and keep me down. Damn it, I want him to return the old me back, the old me who didn't give a damn about anything and everything, because now I just care too damn much about things I didn't even notice before... damn...


Time: 0100
Date: 10/09/2010

Song...

I was listening to a song and before I realised it, I had tweaked the lyrics in my head... so I typed it out, and here it is, the destroyed version of the song -.-:

Waiting here, for you to see me
For you to notice me so that a friendship can take place
Waiting here, in the corner, feeling transparent
You were supposed to notice me
I'm so sorry now, for running so far
Won’t you please notice me…?

But you are going away soon
You won’t stay long anyway…
There’s a look in your eyes
No need for friendship, I'm leaving…
Without you there, I'm hopeless…

In this school, I'm walking aimless
Feeling helpless, without support from anyone
And in my heart, I miss you so much
I'm dreading the day you leave without a single word
I'm so sorry now, for hiding from you
Won’t you please notice me…?

But you are going away soon
You won’t stay long anyway…
There’s a look in your eyes
No need for friendship, I'm leaving
Without you there, I'm hopeless…

Oh banana, I'm sorry… sorry…

But you are going away soon
You won’t stay long anyway…
There’s a look in your eyes
No need for friendship, I'm leaving…
Without you there, I'm hopeless…

Time: 0100
Date: 03/09/2010