I said that in one of the diaries I wrote while I was in secondary school. Since I have nothing to do, I reached up to the storage compartment at my study table and found one of my diaries. It was written in year 2007, so most of the writing was remotely legible, lol! Hm, I didn't realise how... hollow... I was back three years ago. those entries I read, they revolved around me feeling empty, hahahahahahaha! I am different now, though only slightly. At least I actually have times I enjoy now, which is a tremendous improvement. Hm... following are the most common phrases I found written in my diaries (when there was no such thing as blogging, lol!!!!)
1) My mother is such a hypocrite...
2) I am beginning to enjoy my solitude more and more...
3) I am not a fool who cannot see how I am being treated...
4) I am giving her one more chance, if she blows this one, I am copletely giving up on her...
The fourth one, of course, is only a thought which was never carried out. LOL! My sense of responsibilities will never allow me to turn my back on anyone, even for the briefest moment. I also found a verse from a Linkin Park song, for some strange reason, but somehow, I can connect to it, even now. But then again, I can connect to all the songs in Linkin Park's Meteora. Those were the angst filled days. They are long gone now, nothing I feel now contains even a fraction of the strong hatred and passionate anger I felt back then. Which only proves that I was right when I tell people that being angry is pointless because it only uses up energy...
Breaking the habit:
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
Cause inside I realise that I am the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking my habit tonight...
Easier to Run:
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I could take all my shame to the grave I would
These two will always be my favorite songs all time!!! LOL :D
Anyway, I think that should be all for today (for some strange reasong I am in a mood for reminiscing...), going to go and stare at my facebook page, lol!
Time: 2115
Date: 17/01/2010
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